You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
