i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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