So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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