google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
