I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
