im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
