i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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