they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
