I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
