There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
