I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
