Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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