I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
