If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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