My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
