i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
