And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
