I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize