Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
