Sponge bath it is.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
