I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
