Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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