OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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