is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
