cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
