i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
