Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
