He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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