hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
