First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
