but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
