but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
