She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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