One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
