proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
