Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
