We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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