i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
