Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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