Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
