bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
