I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
