You really coming over, don't trick.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
