I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
