Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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