I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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