my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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