just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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