1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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