Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
