well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
