Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Alive.
So much puke
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
