Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize