win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You did what with his pubic hair?
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