I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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