So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You can't special order awesome
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
