I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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