We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
