So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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