The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize