Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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