there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
