Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
