did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
