# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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